I don’t know if I have ever expressed my hatred for getting older on this blog, but if I haven’t, let me just say,…..I hate getting older. With every year that passes, with every number that increases, I get depressed. I think that is why I like reading so much, because I can pretend I am in another world.
One of the biggest reasons I don’t like getting older is because it just reminds me of the things I wish I could have done with my life, and didn’t. I relive moments in my life, when I could have made another choice, done something different, and didn’t. I went down the path I thought I should go at the time. I guess it doesn’t help that I didn’t realize what I wanted to do “when I grew up” until I was 30,……that’s when I discovered writing,….and fell in love. Looking back at high school, and my ever so brief stent in college, I always liked writing. I remember writing this paper in college on Princess Diana, and instead of just going to the Library and checking out books for reference, (yes, I am that old), I went and bought the books I needed to write the paper. I read 4 books about Princess Diana in 6 days, and wrote a paper containing almost 5000 words. Of course this was back in the day, when a computer wasn’t in every home, (yes, I’m old), so I really did have to write it,…actually write with a pen,…crazy I know! I think I ended up with a B- on the paper, and in the notes my teacher wrote, he said, I would have gotten an A+ if I had stuck with his guidelines. He told us to keep it within 500-1000 words.I also love to dance! Music is such a big part of my life. I listen to music while doing pretty much anything. Cleaning the house, folding laundry, making dinner, playing on the computer, writing, and yes even reading! (I’m listening to music right now) Of course with the list I just made, it always starts out as a dance party, and then I realize the clothes are not going to fold themselves while I dance around the living room. I am no Janet Jackson, although I did want to be her when I was in grade school. I can hold the beat, and look good enough, not to look like someone having a seizure. But I often wonder, if I hadn’t gotten interested in boys in so early in life, and kept loving to dance like I did, and do,….I wonder if I could done something with it. I use to watch Janet (Miss Jackson if you’re Nasty), and mimic her moves, and make up my own routines as well.
I’m not saying I regret my life, because I don’t. I love my husband, and I love my children. I know if I had gone down another path in life, things might not end up the way they are now. I don’t like the saying “everything happens for a reason”,….to me that is something someone says, when something they don’t want to happen has happen. And that isn’t me. I don’t regret my choices, I just wonder what life would be like with different ones sometimes.
Getting older also takes a tole on our bodies. I look at myself and see how gravity is fighting me, my metabolism takes most days off, my memory left years ago, I think, I can’t remember, and my energy,….well lets just say, I am happy that while I write I can sit in one place. My knees hurt most days, (which has gotten better since I started losing weight though), I’m in bed by 10pm on a late night, “going out” now entails, dinner, maybe a movie, depending if it is a school night or not, and those only come once in a blue moon. If I go out with friends, we usually meet for lunch or shopping, but the night usually ends before it can be technically called “night”. I take pills for Acid reduction! I have to tweeze my face on daily basis, or I will look like a bear! My husband said when he retires from the Navy, he is going to let his beard grow out,….I told him I was too! He didn’t think that was funny.
I get depressed every year around my birthday, but I also get motivated to do something for me. Last year it was losing weight, and I am happy to say I lost 42 lbs. This year, I got a much wanted tattoo on my arm, (yes my arm), and have plans to get another. I also would like to lose 25 more lbs before swim suit season, finish a few more of my “books”, and really try to get them published this year. I have been trying, but not really hard. I send out my Query letters to a few places, and that’s it. I have gotten some offers, which is nice, but they always require money on my part, which isn’t nice. I would also like to gain more followers on this blog as well as my other blog: thedirtygirlsbookclub.wordpress.com I think my kids are so funny. And the stories I post about them are true! I don’t embellish,…they really say the things I write. That is why I started this blog,…I couldn’t believe how hilarious my kids could be,….but I am their mother after all, (and lets face it, I am hysterical). I hope one day, someone in publishing will read my funny stories about my kids, and offer me a book deal! That would be awesome!